Something Different

Hi All,

Sorry for the delay between posts, I have something a little different for you tonight and I just thought I might give you all a bit of a heads up before we get too far into it. I have some friends (who I know have glanced at this blog) who do not believe in God or do not believe in the God that I believe in. You all know that I love you more than anything and I feel that it is only right to let you know that this post will be all about one of my own personal journeys with God while I have been home. While I hope you go on to read this post to give you more insight into me, I in no way expect you to read it. I would love thoughts and feed back from anyone who does continue reading and hope that you get to know me a little bit better through this.

So while I have been back I have had some really interesting readings and conversations about Gods mercy and grace and how those things fit with him sending Jesus to die on the cross for us. When I have looked at these sorts of things in the past I guess I assumed that I understood them just because of the pure saturation of those things in the early (very early) years of bible teachings that I had. Because I 'know' the Easter story (what an appropriate time for me to have this epiphany) I thought I knew what it was about, and maybe once upon a time, as a small innocent child who had few if any sins to forgive, I did. I think that when I got older and I stopped walking the path that God wanted and then I found my way back to the path I just assumed that I was all good, that coming back to the path was the easy part and that the staying on it would be hard.

I think that being here and really concentrating on myself for a bit helped me to realise that because I didn't truly understand the Easter story I had yet to truly find the path.

I feel like for the last few years I have been walking on the shadowy reflection of the true path, while I am still walking in the right direction I am walking just off to the side of the path in a section all covered with fog. I guess the implications of this really lay in the fog, the fact that I have yet to step onto the true path means that I have found it very easy to get tripped up with things that are hiding in the fog. I know that the true path is just as bumpy and tricky to navigate as the foggy one that I walk but because it has less fog it is that much easier to avoid tripping and falling.

I think what I neglected to realise is that JESUS DIED FOR OUR SINS (in capitals to emphasise things for me and not necessarily to emphasise them for you, well maybe to help you understand what on earth I am rambling about). JESUS’ DEATH FOR OUR SINS MEANS THAT WE ARE FORGIVEN, not a little bit forgiven, not kind of sort of forgiven, not forgiven for the little stuff but still held accountable for the things we are most ashamed about, instead we are FORGIVEN in the complete sense of the word.

I didn’t realise until this trip home that there are so many things I still feel ashamed and bad about (these are the things that create the fog on the path I am walking) because in my mind if I cannot forgive myself then how could anyone else forgive me? How arrogant is that? How dare I assume that God is on the same level as me, or that I am on the same level as him? I have trouble forgiving myself because I AM human, with all the imperfections that being human entails, what I have clearly failed to take into account is that GOD IS NOT HUMAN, God is GOD.

John 3:16 (NIV)
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

How embarrassing that it has taken me 25 years to BEGIN to understand exactly what that means. My God, my father in heaven loved me enough to send his one and only son to die for and save me from my sins. When I opened my heart at the start of my journey to re-commit to Christ, to accept Jesus and follow him I was FORGIVEN, holding onto my self-hatred and my shame and the pain that I feel I deserve, can only serve to help the devil in his plans. I guess part of my journey from now on is learning to let go of the past. To strive every day to do my best to honour God and not to make the mistakes of my past. To believe in myself and always remember that there is only one true God and that he is a LOVING and FORGIVING God, in the pure GODLY sense of the word.


I know that was a bit intense (at least it was for me writing it) I just don't think that it had ever occurred to me to question what I really 'know' that I believe. I hope that this has touched some of you in some way and helped you to understand me and my journey a little better.

Until next time all :D

Cheers Cleo.

Memories

Hi All,

So today has been one of those days where I get a little down about not being back in Thailand yet. I thought that to make myself feel better and to help you all understand why I love this country so much I would do a bit of a my favourite photos type gallery for this post :D.

The first thing I love about Thailand are the people and most of all the children of Thailand. The kids above were the first to steal my heart and I am sure there are many more to come. They have so little in comparison to Australian children their age and yet they are generally a very happy bunch, they also know they always have each other, it is beautiful to see the love they share.

THE SHRUBS: Seriously, OK so the photo above was taken at a beautiful garden in Pattaya but it is not at all unusual to walk down the street and see something like this...

Well hello angry bunny :D.

It also doesn't hurt that you can find things such as giant ants made of metal :D.

Some of you may recognise the background photo I am using. I guess I figured I should add a disclaimer, the only photo of the top 5 to be found in Khon Kaen (the city I will be based) is angry bunny photo. The other pictures of the garden and the ocean are only possible because a bunch of very generous people got together and donated enough money for the 40ish children (from the orphanage I was based at for my first 3 trips) to go to Pattaya. I want to send out a huge thank you to each and every person who made that possible and to the people who supported me and helped me to get there. The joy that those children felt and showed on that trip was a once in a lifetime opportunity to see and I am so blessed that I got to be there.

The above photo... a much more accurate depiction of daily life in Thailand lol. Taken after 6 hours lost in Soi's on the other side of the Mitropap :). Although admittedly a long and tiring day it ended up being productive and remains one of my favourite experiences :D.

Well wishes and letters of support from the people I love most. I am not sure that any of you will ever know exactly how much I appreciated and at times relied on these thoughts, prayers and well wishes to get through the harder times. I miss you all so much while I'm away and I am really glad that I got to see you all while I was home.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJYXItns2ik
For my beautiful best friend Eryn, the day you posted this link to my facebook wall went from being one of the hardest days to one of the best, thank you for being there while I wasn't here.

My beautiful little wave :D, no more 6hrs walking in back Soi's for me :D.

Dinner and markets on a Saturday night :D.

Hip hop in the streets :D

Winning at tickle fights with the kids, they don't come any cuter then this :D.

The final photo for tonight is a beautiful sun set over the site of the new centre for the children, I am so blessed to have been a part of this. I truly hope that one day I can bring as much benefit to the children of Thailand as this sort of project does.

Thank you all for reading, this is by no means the end of my photos but it is enough for tonight. I hope that you have seen even a 10th of the beauty and possibility that Thailand has to offer and I look forward to chatting next time with you all :D.

Cheers Cleo

Where To Begin.

Hi Guys, welcome to my first ever blog post :D.

Have you ever looked at your life and thought 'How did this happen? How are things so different to what I thought they would be?' Because I have!!!

When I was planning out my life and I was thinking about April 2012, I was all set to be living in Europe working part time as an Occupational Therapist (OT) and using my spare time to travel and see the world. Instead of Europe, I'm moving to Thailand and instead of earning a pretty penny working as an OT I will be a volunteer... and I couldn't be happier :D. If you had told me then that not only would my plans not work out that way, but that I would not be sad about it I would have laughed you out of the room because I thought that was my dream. I guess John Lennon got it right when he said "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans". It sure happened to me :D.

I won't tell the whole story tonight because we would be here for far too long (I can't have you falling asleep in the first blog) but I will start at the beginning.

In January 2011 I took my first trip to Thailand, I had a friend volunteering in an orphanage and I decided to pop over and have a look, that trip, changed my life forever. I spent just under a month meeting the most amazing children and the people who care for them and give them a home. I come from a country where we have so much, I am so fortunate in the life that I have led and the opportunities that have been available to me. Prior to January 2011 I found it really easy to lose site of all that I have and even today 3 amazing trips later I still find that I sook about things far more than I should (But I am trying to improve). Those children have so little compared to what I have, they face so much oppression each and every day, and yet, they were and are so happy and so willing to accept and love others.

After returning home I went about my life, but I could not stop thinking about those children and about the calling I felt to Thailand. Six months later I went back for another month, again I was blown away by the children and the people of Thailand. By the end of 2011 I had finally completed my OT degree... I had also spent 5 months of that year in Thailand. My final trip to Thailand for 2011 began in October and ended up stretching out to 5months, it was the easiest and the hardest 5months of my life and I feel so blessed to have had as much time in Thailand as I already have.

Now, it's time I went back, and this time I'm going solo. Ok so not completely solo :D, luckily for me I have managed to make friends in Khon Kaen (where I will be based) and I am slowly figuring out what God wants me to do. Most importantly in my return to Thailand, I have God, none of the trips I have done or will do would have been possible without his blessing and his love and support.

Before I go tonight I am going to leave you with a few links, one is to my Go Fund Me Page, I in no way expect donations but if you feel that you can afford to give and would like to contribute to my next trip this link is one of the ways you can do that (for other options please contact me through the comments section below or my facebook page):

http://www.gofundme.com/f1nuw

The second is a link to http://www.carsales.com/ where I am currently advertising my car, if I were not moving to Thailand I would not sell her because I do love her so, however the proceeds from my car sale will go towards my flights, insurance and visa for my next trip. If you are looking for a new car or know someone who is please follow the link below:

http://www.carsales.com.au/private/details/hyundai-accent-2002-12393822?base=1216&vertical=Car&eapi=2&page=1&sort=~Year&cr=6&__N=1216

Good night guys, will hopefully talk soon :D